Read My Lips by Herbenick Debby & Schick Vanessa

Author:Herbenick, Debby & Schick, Vanessa [Herbenick, Debby & Schick, Vanessa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-4422-0802-5
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
Published: 2012-08-17T15:46:15+00:00

IS YOUR VULVA READY FOR ITS CLOSE-UP?

Hook-up Ready

Definition: The state of being physically and mentally prepared for a sexual encounter including the shaving of one’s legs, genitals, etc.

Origin: A phrase that first made its appearance amongst drinks with a few girlfriends discussing an initial sexual encounter.

As properly used in the sentence: “I wanted to hook-up with him but couldn’t because I wasn’t hook-up ready,” or “I snuck into his bathroom and dry-shaved with his razor because I wasn’t hook-up ready.” (Note: not recommended! (A) You should try to never share razors. It may increase the likelihood of STI transmission, and (B) Ouch! No one likes a dry shave, particularly not on your sensitive Sally.) Why are we filling you in on our cocktail party vernacular? Because we think that it nicely illustrates an interesting phenomenon. Some women may feel confident about their genitals regardless of the situation. Others may feel uncomfortable and in need of a little reassurance to get them revved up during the act, and still others are so shy, embarrassed, or ashamed about their genitals that they decide not to engage in sex that they otherwise want. These, of course, are not always three separate groups of women (although they certainly can be). For our friends, being hook-up ready is often only a state that they felt they needed to be in for their first sexual encounter with a new partner. It’s kind of like avoiding sex because you’re wearing unflattering granny panties and would rather wait until you feel like you’re wearing sexier panties. But as time goes on, you feel comfortable breaking out your cotton day-of-the-week underwear.

In the same way that genital concerns may deter women from seeking out sexual behavior that they may want, it may also prevent women from getting the healthcare that they need. Gynecologist Dr. Elizabeth Stewart, in her excellent book The V Book,15 wrote about how women would often delay scheduling GYN exams so that they could have time to get their genitals ready (she urges women not to worry about how their genitals look or smell when it comes to healthcare). In another study, Debby found that women who felt more positively about their genitals were more likely to have had a recent gynecological exam. And in her dissertation work, Vanessa found that young women who are uncomfortable about the appearance of their genitals were more likely to be concerned that the exam would be embarrassing, making them feel anxious about the exam and eventually putting off a GYN exam entirely. This may have been because some of these women were anticipating their first OB/GYN exam, so they had yet to receive any reassurance about their genitals (which they would hopefully get at the GYN). In a series of interviews with women after their exams, Drs. Oscarsson and Benzein16 found that the only details that young women remembered after their first Pap smear was reassurance that their genitals were normal. Try to think back to your first exam. What

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